The green
furred islands brood over the turquoise water like prehistoric giants
standing on guard between blue sea and blue sky, forming an amphitheatre
waiting for action. A speed boat chase perhaps ripping the silence out
of the sky and pleasing the giants on guard, white foam trails disturbing
the tranquil blue - shots and curses, a body jack-knifing into the water
to disappear forever. They call this bay Phang Nga in Phuket, but they
also call it James Bond Island because The Man with the Golden Gun was
shot in this amphitheatre, Christopher Lee and Roger Moore scuffling
for supremacy with guns, girls, goons and the bay as amused witness.
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For
the normal tourist there is nothing to anticipate but an afternoon
of pleasure cruising in a green long tailed boat over the smooth
as silk water. Before you climb into the boat they lace you into
a bright orange lifejacket, and take your photograph to put on
a ceramic plate, which you can buy for 100 baht after the two
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hour cruise, but the lifejackets
are more for insurance than for use, unless you want to rent a canoe
and explore the mangrove roots and scramble over the limestone, ducking
into the caves and braving the bats and occasional scorpion.
James Bond Island itself is far from suave - its main attraction is
a cliff sliced in a slanting half by nature so that the two halves leans
towards each other - separated lovers turned to stone, the natives whisper
sympathetically - and a cave. You can buy cheap shell toys and bracelets
from women who proffer their goods with no real hope that they will
be bought.
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the Bay, the Bay is something else altogether - it raises visions
of international toy boys and sleek white yachts, of balancing
a chilled martini and gazing out at nothing all afternoon. There
are yachts and canoes to be hired if you want to spend your Phuket
holiday in that way. |
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Or, you can continue in the
boat and the visit the Mussulman Island, or Pannyi, an ornate woodwork
island with huts built on stilts and alleys that reek of fish behind
the wooden restaurant. Dinner at Pannyi is included in the tour, though
you can opt out of paying the extra 500 baht if you wish and sip a chilled
cola and wander through the shops while the others finish their meals.
As Muslims the local population looks down on scantily clad women, but
like most Thais they never miss a chance to sell a photo opportunity
or a cheap souvenir.
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To get to Phang Nga
you have to take a tour from Phuket. Most hotels include James
Bond Island on their itinerary, and most tourists prefer it to
the Phi Phi island tour, though that too is beautiful. Tours usually
start out in the afternoon, after you have eaten your fill of
seafood at the street shops and soaked up the sun on the Patong
or Krabi beaches. |
The road to Phang Nga includes the Monkey Temple, a Buddha reclining
in a limestone cave that smells and echoes of bats. The monkeys scamper
outside, long tailed macaques, waiting to be fed with peanuts or fruit
that you can buy from handy stalls.
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After you return with your eyes filled with visions of blue, you
can relax and saunter down the Phuket beachfront haggling for
Thai silk handbags and scarves. Soi Bangla, Permpong and Post
Office offers you cheap copies of watches, perfumes and designer
T-shirts, though there are no real bargains to be had in Phuket,
unless you hit a market at the north end of Patong beach. |
| Patong
is the main happening beach - there Phuket bustles late into the
night, with strains of music from the hotels where the live bands
perform till 1.30 am. Or you can dive into the Shark disco, which
advertises its presence with bright yellow bags in the small tiled
airport the moment you land. It's high living on the island that
offers you everything from McDonalds to Haagen Daaz to Thai style
grilled crab claws with Thai massages on the beach and discos.
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Local girls in leopard skin
print sarongs stalk the main road, or gyrate in black and silver to
disco music at night looking for playmates. While the pretty transvestites
show off their gorgeous bodies at the Simon Show - though this is a
rerun of similar shows in Pattaya, so if you've seen it once, you've
seen it all.
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Not
all the beaches are good for swimming - one or two are, in fact,
quite rough. It's more the place for snorkelling, kayaking off
the islands, or white water rafting. If you're tired of James
Bond Island and the beauty of the bays you can take a city tour,
though it's hardly a steal at 500 baht with not much to see barring
Wat Chalong and Phuket Fantasea with its cultural show. Most hotels
do offer free drops and pick ups to and from the city. The road
switchbacks |
up and down like a carnival
roller coaster ride providing surprising breaks in an otherwise flat
landscape and leaving you with your heart in your mouth and the feeling
that you've just escaped from Scaramanga by the skin of your teeth.
And at night when you curl into bed, you've got the beat of the music
still pounding in your ears though your feet are trapped by the sheets
- Phuket is not the place for tall people, the beds are quite short.
An urn full of sand by your hotel door carries the hotel's name in Thai
letters written fresh every morning with a different flower stuck in
beside it to match the mood of the day, pink or fresh white.
At Phuket you have your choice of hotels from the budget and almost
sleazy to the comfort of the Holiday Inn. As you have your choice of
food and lifestyle. It's not a dress up place -even Bond stalked it
in a white safari suit. Most of the locals prowl around in extreme short
shorts or a tank top and sarong and at 10 am you can always found someone
stretched out under an umbrella being massaged.
The best thing to do in Phuket is lie back and take it easy, perhaps
stretch out an arm and demand a martini shaken, not stirred because
apart from that and the white water it's the most excitement you'll
have in your calm as bay water life.
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